I had big plans for this post, but it took longer to get to Colorado Springs than I had thought, so we'll see how much energy IK have to write before I collapse.

Cell service out here is spotty at best and the wireless access at the motel I'm staying at leaves something to be desired, so I'm sitting on the steps outside next to the office. Connectivity is fairly good here. Loud cars and bikes race by on the road here. Colorado Springs seems to be a colorful town.

I figured some of my friends would give me a hard time about the last two posts, and as expected that happened. Few people have seen that side of me, so I imagine some are probably a bit suprised. Finding what to write, what to share, what to keep concealed in these posts is challenging. While it's difficult and gives me that "oh, this is not comfortable" feeling, I'm opting to be more open in this venue than closed. Maybe that's a decision that will bite me in the ass at some point, but I feel this is an experiment in finding a voice. Yes, under the overly self controlled and polite exterior, there are big unexpressed parts of me that are a hopeful romantic. Surprised?

The Econolodge I stayed at last night was the worst accomodations I've had this whole trip. There were endless numbers of unidentifiable insects running around the room. You could hear through the walls as if they were not there, and this was not a good thing. Whenever someone turned on a faucet the water would run cold. All in all it sucked but I had the foresight to put in my earplugs. I slept pretty well.

I did some work in the morning, packed up my gear and headed to a local diner.

There was this strange phenomenon that I observed. The H20 that had been so reliably falling from the sky had ceased, somewhat disturbing my world view. I decided to call this new hitherto unobserved phenomenon "sunshine".

I was in no hurry. I had futzed around the hotel until check out time and I lingered at the diner drinking bad coffee. At some point I got that distinct "it's time to leave" feeling, so I got back on the bike and headed west on I70.

I70 is flat.

In previous trips, this road has really bothered me. The miles would wear on you. However, today it wasn't bothering me in the least. I was lost in thought.

Eventually on the horizon I saw some electricity producing windmills. They were simply huge and you could see them from miles away.

I watched for miles as they got larger.

These things were just monstrous.

I rode on and saw a sign as I pulled off to get gas. Starbucks. Exit 55! I thought I was in heaven. Then I realized I was at exit 165 or somesuch.

Shit.

I could have really used a cup of coffee. Actually, I needed a cup of coffee. I looked around. Yup, as I expected, no Angela.

So I rode for the next 110 miles to get myself a cup of coffee.

Yup, I'm one hard core adventure rider. I travel from Starbucks to Starbucks all across the country. This starbucks was very unusual. It was in Kansas and was physically attached to a travel center. I sat outside, drank some water and sipped my coffee. I noticed a BMW F800GS that had signs of some use. The rider and his passenger were fumbling with some gear. "I have a spare bungie net, if you need it", I said. We got to talking.

The riders were Hans and Cody. They had been riding in Colorado and reported that there had been snow in the mountains just the other day. This is the kind of bike I should be riding for this trip.

We talked for a bit and I told Hans about my trip. He expressed the same kind of envy that so many riders have. "I wish I could do that trip". So I tried to instigate a bit of irresponsible peer pressure. "It's really easy. Fill up the tank and follow me.". I had tried the same thing with Mike to no avail.

Mike, you know, it's only a day out to Colorado Springs. I'm at the base of the Rocky Mountains. What's a couple of days to the Rockies? (And this is how I get them, because you know, once out here it would be "It's just a couple of days to Yellowstone". I'm just evil like that, but Mike saw through my evil plot.) You could meet me in Yellowstone, you know. It's not that far.

I sat around unhurried and eventually decided it was time to leave. Instead of heading back to I70 I decided to do what I had planned and I headed South on KS25. I wanted to experience "flat".

It was flat. I mean epicly flat. The kind of flat that inspired thoughts of a malevolent divine being. The miles dragged on. This was a kind of flatness I remembered.

Rolling on mile after mile the human mind, lacking any kind of external stimulation, begins to grab ahold of anything it can. After hours and hours a couple of bumps on the horizon become significant landmarks of great significance

To prevent insanity, the mind begins to wander and make up stories to explain the lack of stimlation. At one point I decided to compare what I saw in front of me with what I saw behind my eyelids.

Open eyes: four unchanging colors: pavement, white, green, blue.

Closed eyes: black.

So Kansas is only four times as interesting as closed eyes.

Kansas wouldn't be that bad ... 1000ft under water.

The mind wanders. It seeks stimulation and when, confronted with Kansas, it begins to tell itself stories to pass the time ... odd stories ... there's something about Kansas that inspires divine thought ...

I imagined a time when Kansas had been interesting; a time when Kansas was the center of human endeavor, the core of curious inquiry, disciplined investigation, rational thought; and a place where motorcycling would be as fun as the Smokey Mountains.

What had gone wrong? Clearly, I reasoned, this epic flatness could only be due to divine marital strife.

You see, in a drunken stupor one day, God created the universe and blew all the money he had on it. He had always wanted a universe because he was narcissist. "It would be good to have a universe where the beings in it worshipped me", he thought to himself. So he created one, but because he was drunk, it became a mess and being no fun he neglected it.

His wife, the Goddess, saw that he had spent all his money on creating this universe and had left it only partially done. So she, having a doctorate in both physics and mathematics and being the primary bread winner in the household not to mention always having to clean up his partially completed messes, added physical Laws to the universe and watched it unfold.

The universe unfolded logically as a result of the Laws she had created, and it was good. Eventually, the Laws combined with probability and gave rise to creatures capable of rational thought. Curious creatures that could reason, deduce and slowly figure out the Laws for themselves. This made her happy. She was proud, because the Laws were not easy.

But her drunken narcissistic husband came home one day after a bender at the bar and saw what she had done and became angry. "I don't want them to think!!", he shouted. "I want them to worship me! It's time I got some respect around here!". He saw that the Goddess had allowed Reason to flourish amongst these curious creatures and they had begun to question and investigate. Enraged, God decided to punish them. So he brought ruin unto the land and drove all manner of mental stimulation from it. "They will not think!" he declared. "They will only blindly worhip me! I will remove all manner of mental stimulation from them!". So anything to inspire these insightful creatures to be creative, to think, to dream, any feature on the land that might cause an independent thought or question was crushed. God so flattened the Earth that there was nothing left except signs on the side of the road declaring his greatness. Having nothing else to do, the inhabitants of the great flat expanse devoted themselves to his worship, which fed his narcissism just as he wanted. He was content and called this place "Kansas".

The Goddess, disgusted with him, moved out and currently lives with her mother, which is why you never hear from her.

And so the miles dragged on, my mind desperately seeking more stimulation yet finding none.

That is until I saw two small hills in the distance. "Hills!", I thought. "HILLS!". A feature, something to observe. Some feature that could feed my hungry mind.

But all too quickly it passed and I was once again subject to the flatness and His wrath. "Church isn't so bad", I found myself deliriously thinking.

After some more hours of the same I need to take a leak. Fortunately I came upon a rest stop only to realize it was, in fact, a museum in the middle of nowhere. Clearly, this was Her work.

I went in and talked to the nice lady. They even had an exhibit showing the prehistoric fossils found in the area. Luckily, He had not found out about this yet, otherwise it would have been flattened. They uncovered an 80million year old fossil of a bird here. Pretty cool. I don't normally like museums, but this one on KS40 towards Colorado Springs is definitely worth checking out.

In the back I saw a poster and realized I needed to get out of dodge quickly.

Outside I saw a Vorpal Bunny. Very dangerous.

Off I went and continued on. Every time I thought I had seen the limit of flatness a new and more intense from of the punishment was unleashed.

At least there was a tree. I rode along and came upon some railroad tracks and to my shock and horror there was a train on them.

I would guess it was probably a mile long.

The hours rolled on. Eventually I thought I had found salvation, my mind had nearly cracked from all the big sky.

But to my shock and horror, Eastern Colorado is actually flatter than Kansas!

Oh no. What transgression had Eastern Colorado committed to exceed that of Kansas? It was inconceivable.

After more hours I stopped because my earplugs began to hurt. I hung out for a while on the side of the road and eventually noticed some flowers.

The miles rolled on and at one point I saw a critter.

I know not what kind of critter, but it moved and was alive. I was happy to have seen Something(tm). Eventually after many more miles I reached the end of the Punished Land of Flatness and stopped in awe of an incredible sunset over the distant Rocky Mountains.

The Motorcyclists Promised Land(tm) not to be confused with Motorcycle Mecca which is Deal's Gap.

I rolled into Colorado Springs glad to have survived with most of my mind intact, found myself a motel and then headed out to get a bite to eat. I happened upon a bar called The Ritz Grill or something like that. Inside I found the fastest moving bartender in the world. His name is Paul but I nicknamed him "Fast Forward". Literally, when he counts money the bills are in a blur. I kid you not.

(It's amazing I was able to snap the pictures. 1/4 second later he was gone.)

And thus ends my journey across the mindless expanse and I think I will call it a night. Tomorrow I head into the mountains where I figure I will encounter a range of weather conditions, none of them good.